The cost of getting what you want, is getting what you thought you wanted

[403]

I've come to the realization that both my major and minor are in subject areas that I don't want to pursue for a living. All of my classes this semester are in either my major or minor field of study. So what do I do for the rest of this semester?

Comments

[siderea]

Oh, my! Have you something else you want to pursue for a living?

[403]

I'm not sure yet. I just know that what I'm studying now is a poor fit. I'm trying to get into a class called Southwest Home Gardening (which may not work, since this is the third week of classes), to see if my interest in plants can stand up to an academic setting. Really, if I care more about my container garden than most of the classes I've taken in the past year, there's something wrong.

In the longer run, this is probably going to mean escaping Arizona before I get a 4-year degree (possibly as early as this upcoming May) and most likely landing in Boston. 'Cause if I don't know what I want to do, there's no point in staying someplace where I don't want to be while I'm not learning how to do it. Also, if I establish residence in Boston while I figure out what to do next, my parents will be off my FAFSA by the time I'm ready to go back to school.

[siderea]

So what happened? Last I knew, which was admittedly some time ago, you seemed very certain and clear about what you wanted?

[403]

I seem to have gone and changed while I wasn't looking. Late last year, I found out that the department was going to make it a pain to graduate as a chemist* so I started looking at my other options. Then I went to compare those to what I'd get by pushing through, and what it would do to my potential career paths. I realized that I couldn't figure out how to weight the options because $careerfoo no longer has emotional resonance.

I'm willing to consider the possibility that I've lost my way in this mess because I'm burning out on school and that's interfering with my ability to care about anything related. But if so, the fix is the same - do something else for a while and come back fresh.

* The American Chemical Society has tight control over their curriculum, so there are few class substitutions. For reasons unknown beyond 'the committee refuses to schedule them', there's also a shortage of slots in required 1-credit labs, some of which are spring-only, and others fall-only.

[solarbird]

Yikes. That's scary.

(...and kind of how I ended up with an art degree...)

[403]

After the initial "Oh shit, what do I do now?" moment, I realized that it's an opportunity to escape from Arizona a year before I thought I'd be able to. (And I really want to do that. Enough so that it's made Hotel California the theme song of my past ten years.)

I've a history of realizing that major life choices aren't working out, and then going to do something else. Fortune favors the bold. :)

[403]

Wait, what were you planning to do before you hit on the idea of making music?

[solarbird]

Physics.

(As it is I have computer science/math and art. And a couple of genetics papers from graduate school that got out the door. But I don't have any post-graduate degrees. I'm a project defense away from a master's but said eh, fukkit.)