What is this 'less than okay' that I mention?

It's a marked understatement, for one thing. And when I examine my reasons for making it, I don't like what I see. Shame, and fear that any revealed weakness will be used against me. Neither is a feature of the circles I move in today, so I'm working to dismantle the hold they have on my actions. It'll do me good to put this out here, regardless of response or lack thereof.

The only way I know to describe it is from the inside. ( So, put yourself in my shoes for a moment. )