It bugs the crap out of me when...

[403]

..people make assumptions about my motives.

Rather than, y'know, asking. My blood family are the worst offenders here, in that they tell me, they're unwilling to accept corrections, and they're so damn smug about it.

This particularly comes up around traditionally "feminine" activities (which, by and large, should not be gendered).

I cook because I like it. I cook from scratch because I regard the industrial food system with great suspicion, and actively work to reduce the amount that I'm forced to rely on it. I cook from scratch because I'm a better chef than whoever developed the boxed tripe my folks rely on. (And while my stepfather is, on the whole, a decent person, when he suggests that I'm "turning into Betty Crocker" I want to break his face.)

I garden because I like it. I garden because HaMotzei is full of awe when I've watched some small portion of the grain grow in my own yard. I garden because Monsanto and their ilk can eat manure and die.

I crochet because I like it. I crochet because turning a random piece of string into a useful object by doing nothing more than tying little knots is mind-bogglingly cool. I crochet because "I made it" is something that I strive to have more of in my life.

See what's missing there? It's other peoples' expectations. If someone wants to stick a gendered label on my actions, by and large I can't stop them from doing so. But to tweak an old saying, it's not feminine as in nice, it's femme as in fuck you.

Comments

[liv]

This is an excellent rant, well said!

[403]

Thank you. It's been brewing for a while now.

[milkymoon]

I absolutely agree with this - you're doing what you like, you're creating things and you're trying to eat food that's ethically produced and healthy for you. It's clearly not about ~*being a stereotypical housewife*~ or any other stereotype.