Dear fellow residents,

If you have to stand next to the stove continuously in order to not forget that you're cooking something? Please do so, or refrain from attempting to cook. We have cheap gas ranges which offer poor control and have a nasty tendency to go out on any setting less than "high". If you walk away, you're either taking a chance on your apartment filling with gas, or your food catching fire. Both of which typically require the other 600-odd people who live here to evacuate.

No love,
- Me