My current book is Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. I'm less than halfway through, but so far it's fantastic.

I want to talk about one of the exercises, which aims to shake out key bits of "how other people should change to make you feel valued". To do this, one is to quickly and without thinking much, complete the sentences:

* I wish other people were more ______.
* Why is it so hard for people to ______?
* For a change, I would love someone to treat me like ______.
* Maybe one of these days I'll find someone who will ______.
* In an ideal world with good people, other people would ______.

Responses:
I wish other people were more able and/or willing to read my emotional state.
Why is it so hard for people to give a shit about others?
For a change, I would love someone to treat me like I matter. As myself, not as a provider of services or utilities.
Maybe one of these days I'll find someone who will notice when I'm having a hard time, and step in to offer emotional support before I get overwhelmed and start obviously malfunctioning.
In an ideal world with good people, other people would look out for and care about one another's well-being.

Given that the chronic lack of feeling valued and related ideas about how to fix it are generally laid down & stratified during a dysfunctional childhood, I was preparing myself to accept gut answers from out of left field. But those are actually shockingly reasonable and achievable. Which means they really happen from time to time.

And you know? I still tear up when they do.
I still don't expect them.
It's an endless aching wonder of a dream come true.

So: Thank you all for helping to make that happen.
forests_of_fire: A picture of a brilliantly colored waterfall cascading into a river (Default)

From: [personal profile] forests_of_fire


For a change, I would love someone to treat me like I matter. As myself, not as a provider of services or utilities.

Oof. I KNOW THAT FEEL. I really, really do.

.

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